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Negotiating and Rapport Building


In today's show, Larry and Kandas talked about negotiating and rapport building when dealing with sellers. They also talked about what they’ve been up to and shared some tips on what to do when talking with sellers.


  • What they've been up to
  • Share Sponsor Contest Winner
  • How their model works
  • Getting people to like and trust you
  • Mirroring and matching
  • Using their words
  • Stating your name and company name before asking for their names
  • Stating how long you've been doing what you do
  • Telling a story about a similar deal than directly telling what you can do
  • Reading the person


  • "You want to mirror and match people."
  • "Stories sell. Facts tell."



It’s time to BRAG, Be Rich and Generous. BRAG Radio is cohosted by bestselling real estate investing author Larry Goins and co-host Kandas. For the next hour they will show you proven and effective ways you can be successful in real estate. From the WBT Studios, the flagship station of the Brag Radio Network, here are your hosts, the rock stars of real estate, Larry and Kandas.

Kandas: Hey guys!

Larry: What’s up? Live from Lake Wylie South Carolina. I’m Larry.

Kandas: Kandas.

Larry: And welcome to BRAG Radio. We’re really excited about today’s episode. We’ve decided we’re not going to make these episodes really, really long because it’s a lot easier for people to watch, you know, short videos, that sort of thing. Right?

Kandas: Plus it’s easier on us.

Larry: Exactly. We just came from a property meeting where we went over… how many deals do we have in the pipeline? I don’t even know anymore.

Kandas: Eleven.

Larry: Eleven deals in the pipeline. Right now we have 11 deals in the pipeline that we're working right now at various stages, under contract to close, that sort of thing. And Kandas is even texting people right now, messaging. So we’re setting up inspections on properties, we're arranging closings, getting titles ordered, going out to take pictures of the property, showing the properties, that sort of thing. But we don’t go out and look at the properties live.

Kandas: Most of the time.

Larry: Yeah. Well, although we have, right, when they’re close enough. But we typically have somebody else do it. So the first thing we want to do is we want to announce our Share Sponsor winner. Our Share Sponsor winner is Jan Hughes Ham. And tell us what she won, Vanna.

Kandas: It's the Real Estate Day Trading Course. It is a jumpstart course, home study course, and digitally accessible so you’ll have it right away. All you have to do is private message Larry and we can get that set up on your profile for your access.

Larry: That’s all you got to do. Send us a message.

Kandas: Easy breezy.

Larry: Yup, send us a message. And while we’re talking about Share Sponsor, every single episode we are giving away a free home study course ($497 value) of the Real Estate Day Trading Jumpstart, okay? All you have to do is click ‘share’ right now. That’s all you have to do, is click ‘share’ right now and share this video with your, what is it, followers or friends or whatever.

Kandas: Friends, followers.

Larry: Friends, followers, all that good stuff. Right? And every week we pick a winner, so we’re going to give away the Real Estate Day Trading Jumpstart. Okay? Second thing if you haven’t been following us very long, like the phone’s ringing now, we’ve got leads coming in.

Kandas: Pay attention here in Facebook.

Larry: I’m sorry. So anyway, if you want to get a free Investors Kit, okay, we have an Investors Kit that has a lot of cool stuff in it. All you got to do is call 877-LARRY-GO, that’s 877-LARRY-GO. And Kandas, what do they get?

Kandas: That’s got the HUD Homes Half Off book, it has the Real Estate Day Trading Book, it has some training videos for Filthy Riches, also for Ultimate Buying Machine, some links that give you information on asset protection, things like that. So it's got a bunch of education in it as well.

Larry: That’s cool. It's some really cool stuff, it really is. So call 877-LARRY-GO. That’s 877-LARRY-GO. Now, here’s what we’re going to talk about today. We’re going to talk about negotiating and rapport building. See, a lot of people think that us being educators and having shows like this and stuff like that that we’re not in the trenches. But we are in the trenches.

Kandas: You’re very wrong.

Larry: Am I right?

Kandas: I don’t mind telling you. If that is your thought that we don’t do this every day, you are very wrong.

Larry: We are.

Kandas: Sadly mistaken.

Larry: We are in the trenches doing this every day, and the way our whole model works, I mean, listen, we could have acquisition people. I mean, we do have Dan who sells our houses, we have Andrea who does all of our HUD bids and she does all of our closings. But Kandas is the lead manager, okay? She is the one that takes all of the calls upfront, okay, and she qualifies the person. She finds out, you know, basic information about the property and then she hands it off to me and she makes my job very easy. All I’ve got to do is get them to agree to our price or our terms, right? She builds that rapport. In fact, I’ve had people say, “I don’t want to talk to anybody but Kandas. I just want to talk to Kandas.” That’s on my call earlier. They wouldn’t even talk to me. They just want to talk to you, right?

Kandas: I just got it like that.

Larry: So anyway, just to let you guys know, that’s what we do. We’re in the trenches and we could hire other people, but I love it. I love building the rapport with the people. I’ve got this little contest going. How short of a timeframe is it going to take me to buy a house?

Kandas: Mind you, this is a contest with himself.

Larry: Right.

Kandas: It's a contest that you do with yourself every time you get on the phone, which makes it even more hilarious. And then he rewards himself with food. He won’t eat lunch unless he’s already bought a house that morning.

Larry: That’s funny. That is true though.

Kandas: He doesn’t want to leave for the day to go home for dinner unless he’s bought a house for the afternoon. It’s crazy but, yeah, he’s competing it to himself.

Larry: That is awesome. That’s funny, that’s funny. But it is true, it is true. You know, I’ve said, “I’m not eating anything until…” you know. But I will have some food brought and put on my desk so I could smell it and see it.

Kandas: That’s true.

Larry: And it makes me work that much harder so I can have lunch, right? Also, oh, Ben was asking is there a way that they can text to get the free Investors Kit.

Kandas: There is but I don’t remember that part.

Larry: Do you have that number right off hand?

Kandas: No.

Larry: Yeah. I don’t know what. She can probably look it up and tell you in just a minute. We do have a number that you can text, Ben. Alright, so Kandas has the number now.

Kandas: Yes. It is 803-897-6063. And that’s just text the word ‘BRAG’ to 803-897-6063. Thanks for reminding us of that, Ben. I appreciate it.

Larry: I know, right? That’s really cool, that’s really cool. So, what we want to talk about today primarily is we want to talk about negotiating and rapport building. Or as I used to have a guy who worked with me and he used to knock doors, he was right out of high school, he used to call it “building rapture”, right? Which was a little weird. But instead of rapport, he used to call it building rapture.

Kandas: Whatever works.

Larry: I know, right? So first thing I want to talk about in building rapport and negotiating is getting people to like you and trust you, and I know Kandas, you hear me, I hear you, we’re literally working probably about 15-20 feet apart from each other, right? So we can hear each other and if she gets somebody on the phone, she can say, “Well, let me see if Larry is on the phone and let me see if I can get him on the phone with you right now.” And vice-versa sometimes when they won’t talk to me.

Kandas: When they want to, yeah.

Larry: Right, right, right.

Kandas: When they like to

Larry: So Kandas, what are some of the things that you run into or that you have people tell you that you use to build rapport, getting people to like you and trust you? I know you were telling me some things earlier before we started the show.

Kandas: Well, you put one of those in the things “Kandas-isms” because you, what is that word that you put in the Kandas-ism? That what I like to do is if I’m on the phone with somebody and they use certain words multiple times in the beginning of the conversation when they’re describing the property to me, I’ll draw those words down and use them back to them as well. Which one?

Larry: “Agreeance”.

Kandas: Agreeance, yeah.

Larry: I’ve got a list of Kandas-isms. These are words that Kandas has made up.

Kandas: They’re my dictionary. But I didn’t make this one up. I stole this from the guy that I was on the phone with and it was agreeance. He just said it in the beginning of the call so I used it at the end of the call when I was talking about if we can get to an agreeance on the offer, then I’ll send somebody out to look at it. But I’ll jot down words that they like to use. I’ve also tried to mirror if they have a really strong Southern Accent, I’ll talk really super slow which is not hard for me at all because I’m southern as well and it definitely comes out a little bit more when I’m on the phone with somebody like that. If they talk faster, I try to talk faster, trying to think—

Larry: I think that’s really good. We got to talk about that for a second. Okay? Here’s the thing. You want to mirror and match people. Okay? Like I was talking to somebody earlier and the woman who answered the phone, she’s like, “Ah… Hello?”

Kandas: For some reason I doubt that she actually sounded like that, but we’ll go with it.

Larry: It was close. Okay? So what she did was she answered the phone and she talked real slow. So I’m like, “Hey. This is Larry. Is Jay around?” And he’s the guy we’re buying a couple little houses from. So I’m talking real slow, right? And she’s like, “Hold on, honey, and I’ll get him.” And so I’m just talking real sweet to her and stuff and then he gets on the phone and he’s like, “Hello?” I’m like, “Hey Jay! How you doing? It’s Larry. How you been?” Right? So you got to mirror and match people. That’s very, very important. There was another you used, you mentioned earlier about you use their words. Right?

Kandas: Right, yeah. Yeah, agreeance. Just like we were talking about their words, I jot them down. If I can work them back into the conversation, then I do that. And then you automatically get at “that’s right, that’s right.” I hate hearing “you're right.” I don’t like that at all. I would much rather get a “that’s right.” That gives me a sense of commitment rather than “you're right” which is just an agreeance to maybe rush me off the phone or something like that. I’d much prefer “that’s right”. And if I use or if I can work their words back into the conversation, typically it gets me that type of response as we’re going through the offer process.

Larry: Right. That’s really good. The next thing is you want to say your name and your company name before you ask for their name. Right? Like on our caller ID, when someone calls our office line, it rolls over to our phone line at the same time and then it rotates round robin between she and I, and if she and I don’t pick it up, it goes to PATLive. Okay? So when somebody calls, it doesn’t show their number. It shows the number they call and we do that so we know where the lead came from. It might say Facebook seller lead, it might say Craigslist seller lead. It might say direct mail North Carolina, direct mail South Carolina, probate South Carolina, whatever it is. But we have a different number for each marketing piece and each advertising so we know we programmed that number into our phone number and through our call center, we use CallRail, right?

Kandas: Right. Right now.

Larry: Right now we do. We’re moving to Smartphone. And it shows up the caller ID as to which number they called, not their number. So I don’t like just having to ask their number right off the bat because some of them are really skittish about that. So I say, “By the way, my name is Larry. Larry Goins. I’m with Neighborhood Housing. Let me let you jot down our number in case we get disconnected,” and then at the same time I’m asking them, “By the way, what’s your number in case we get disconnected, and I’m sorry I didn’t catch your name.” See I’ve already given them my name, I’ve already given them our company name. I usually tell them “And we’re out of Lake Wiley and we buy houses all over the state of North and South Carolina,” or something like that. Right? And then, once I give them my information, they feel little bit of—here’s another Kandas-ism—‘retroprocity’. Right? Kandas has a—

Kandas: ‘Retroprocity’.

Larry: ‘Retroprocity’, alright.

Kandas: That’s how you say it.

Larry: No. It’s reciprocity.

Kandas: It's ‘retroprocity’.

Larry: There’s no T in ‘retroprocity’.

Kandas: You just said it was a Kandas-ism.

Larry: Well, it is Kandas-ism.

Kandas: So you got to say it right.

Larry: It’s always ‘retroprocity’, right?

Kandas: Where I told you ‘twicet’.

Larry: ‘Twicet’. That’s another one. I forgot to write that one down. There’s only one T in ‘twice’. Okay. So next, you want to say how long you’ve been doing this. We like to use something like “You know, I’ve been doing this over 30 years,” okay? If you're working with somebody else or you—

Kandas: I can’t say that.

Larry: Yeah. But what she can say is, “You know, our team has been…” or, “You know, some people on our team or our organization…” or something like that, if you're brand new and you haven’t done a deal yet, I’m not telling you to lie.

Kandas: Right.

Larry: Not at all. Don’t need to lie.

Kandas: That’s what I wanted to point out.

Larry: I don’t want you to lie, but you can say like if I’m coaching you and I’m mentoring you, you can say “Because we have a partner program where people work with us and we help them get up and running or take it to the next level and scale their business.” We can say “Our partners have been doing this for over 30 years.” Right? But when I’m on the phone, I say… here’s the way I say it, this is very, very important, guys. I say, “I’ve been helping homeowners just like you for over 30 years.” Now think about the difference on how that sounds. Right? Instead of “I’ve been buying houses for over 30 years,” I say, “I’ve been helping homeowners just like you sell their properties for all cash for over 30 years.”

Kandas: It's a lot more powerful.

Larry: Yeah, yeah. It’s much better.

Kandas: It’s instant incredibility and it’s very authentic because it’s the truth.

Larry: Right, right.

Kandas: And that comes through when you say it.

Larry: Exactly. One of the things that I also like to do is instead of just telling people “Here’s what I can do”, or “Your house is not worth but this”, or “I can’t pay you but this,” I’ll say, “You know, I just helped another homeowner with that very similar situation,” and then I’ll go through a story about a deal that I’ve done and if you don’t have a story, you can use one of mine or one you found on the internet or Bigger Pockets or on our website or some of our deals or whatever or you can say, “Let me tell you about a similar seller that was able to be helped.” You don’t have to say “I was able to help.” You could say “was able to be helped.” So that’s very, very important. Okay? And then you tell a little story just like if I get somebody maybe this much for their house, we can only get them this much, I’ll say, “Well, let me tell you how I’ve helped somebody get this price and save them some money on their taxes at the same time.” Right? So then I’ll go through, you know, a story and offer owner financing. I’ll say, “Look, we were able to help this person. They were stuck on this price but they were just going to put the money in the bank. And what do the banks pay? You know, 1 percent or less. We were able to get them 5 percent return on their money secured by their house and they have a monthly cash flow coming in for the next 20 years.” Okay? So that’s just something you can use to help others in a similar situation. Stories sell, right? Facts tell. Stories sell. Very, very important. Stories sell and facts tell. Okay? So also the next thing we want to talk about is reading the person. When you get on the phone with somebody, you can tell if somebody’s really short with you, if they’re aggravated. I mean, I’ve even had people call up and/or talk to people, maybe she set it up, maybe I just answered the phone and you think they’re mad just by the tone of their voice but you’ve got to ask them a few questions to lighten them up. You've got to joke around with them and play around with them a little bit and see if they laugh, see if they break that seriousness and that will really help you determine how much you can push that person. Right? I mean, there’s some people, I mean, I will slam the phone down and say “This is opportunity knocking. Don’t you hear that? It might not knock twice.” But I know there’s some people I can’t say that too. There’s some people I absolutely cannot say that too. You got to be careful. And some people you just have to tell them, “Well, let me run my numbers. Do a little bit of figuring. Maybe I’ll send somebody by the house and then we’ll give you a callback in a few days.” Some people, you have to kind of slow-play it, right? It’s like a hand of poker, right? Sometimes you fast-play them, sometimes you slow-play them. Right? Does that make sense?

Kandas: Okay.

Larry: Okay. Alright, so you want to read the person and don’t push them unless you feel like you can. And you guys send me your questions. I know we got a lot of people watching right now. If you guys have any questions, feel free to shoot out your questions right there. We’ll be glad to answer them. But if you guys want to work with Kandas and I, our team, you can apply at Larrygoins.com/apply and you can apply to work with us and our team, and partner with us, and we’ll be glad to help you any way we can. There is a fee for it. It's not free and it’s not cheap, but it is working with our team, and our goal is to get you your next three deals or help you start scaling in 90 days. That’s our goal. Right? Let’s see.

Kandas: Yes, Joshua, you are correct. “Never Split the Difference” is a wildly beneficial book and I’m telling you that it is one that I read probably once a quarter now. I love it and I love being reminded me of just the little nuggets that are offered out of that book with all the stories that he talks about.

Larry: It's a great book. If you guys haven’t read it, I’ve read it probably a couple of times. You've read it 3 or 4, haven’t you?

Kandas: A lot. More than that.

Larry: Yeah, it’s a great book, ‘Never Split the Difference’. Looks like it’s by Chris Voss or something. Didn’t remember that but that’s great. Thank you for sharing that, Joshua. That’s awesome. That’s awesome. We really appreciate it. Guys, be sure and share the video for a chance to win a Real Estate Day Trading Home Study Course, okay? And if you want to apply to work with us, just go to Larrygoins.com/apply and we really appreciate you guys watching this. Anything else you want to add, Kandas?

Kandas: No, I don’t think so. We got to get back to work.

Larry: We do. We have to get back to work. We have a lot of deals to work right now, so I got to get back on the phone. So thank you guys so much for watching. Be sure to share the video and we’ll see you next week. Same time, same station, 2:00 PM Eastern.

Kandas: Bye, guys!

Larry: Thanks a lot, guys. Appreciate it.